The Third of The Four Agreements or When You Assume, You Make an Ass of You and Me

For those of us who are “Odd Couple” fans, we remember that famous Felix Unger line from the kangaroo court episode.  When you assume, you make an ass of you and me.

Sitting a session with a client recently, she asked me if I had read the book The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, and published in January, 2001.  According to About.com, this is a wonderful book for stress management and personal growth.  http://stress.about.com/od/products/fr/fouragreementsf.htm

My client mentioned one of the four agreements, “don’t make assumptions”, which we discussed at length. 

A dear friend of my husband gifted him a copy years ago, and he devoured it.  I just never got around to absorbing it.  But it came up again this morning, specifically about assumptions.  Jumping to conclusions is such an easy thing to do.  As we navigate this higher education landscape of CW, I find it important to remind myself to give the benefit of the doubt.

How often do we make assumptions about others or about situations that are incorrect?  In this contemplative time of year, Spring and new beginnings, here are some pearls from The Four Agreements.

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.